If you are a lacrosse player or coach in the Lower Hudson Valley, then you knew Tom L.
It would have been hard not to. Tom Lener attended hundreds of games each year — high school, college, summer camps, you name it. He worked as a statistician for the Sound Shore Summer League.
Though he himself never played or coached, he was as well-known in the area as many who did.
I just received some very sad news. Tom died this weekend.
I know the entire lax community joins me in extending our deepest sympathies to his family.
We will post more information — including funeral arrangements — as soon as it becomes available.
Update on memorial service (Nov. 29): We have obtained information on the speakers on the memorial service for Tom Lener, scheduled for Monday at 7 p.m. at the YCCC Theatre. The speakers are: Barry Bocklet (John Jay), Paul Carcaterra (No Limit Lacrosse), Scott Bulkely (Darien assistant), Adam Lodewick (Yorktown assistant), Brian Dalton (Fox Lane co-coach), Dave Marr (Yorktown coach) as well as players Michael Bonitatibus (Yorktown) and Tyler Foley (Darien).
Update on memorial service (Nov. 19): Just received word that arrangements have been finalized for a public memorial service for Tom. It will be held at the Yorktown Community & Cultural Center on Commerce Street at 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 1. (This is the former sixth-grade school.)
Update on memorial service (Nov. 18): Mitch Lieberman, speaking on behalf of the Lener family, just called me with information regarding a memorial service. He said: “The Lener family expresses their deep appreciation and gratitude for the outpouring of support, however Tom desired his service to be a private, family-only event. The family appreciates everyone respecting Tom’s wishes and their privacy during this difficult time. A community memorial service will be scheduled in the coming weeks.”
• “Tribute to Tom L. by George Baldassare and LaxPower.com”:http://www.laxpower.com/laxnews/news.php?story=11848
• Journal News/LoHud.com article: “Well-known local lacrosse fan Lener dies at age 50”:http://www.lohud.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008811180384
39 Comments
A very sad day in the lacrosse community. You will be missed Tom. RIP
Tom, you will be missed greatly. You loved lacrosse and made it your passion. You were so devoted to the sport, especially to the Yorktown lacrosse team and community. RIP Tom.
Tom devoted a lot of time and passion to the sport. He may have never played but he could sit down with the greatest players, coaches, fans and hold his own in any conversation.
His stat sheets that he is built up over the years are true pieces of lacrosse history!
My condolences go out to Tom’s family, RIP Tom.
Such sad news. Tom was kind, informative and passionate. It was a pleasure to sit with and learn stats from someone who really loved the game and the Yorktown program. He was quite the individual who will be missed by all who had the pleasure of speaking with him. Tom will always be part of the Yorktown’s lacrosse history. RIP Tom.
Tom….we will miss you. Your friendship and knowledge of the game we love cannot be replaced. I know your heart was with Yorktown but, you adopted the Blue Wave and our boys. Your seat in the stands with Thelma and Louise will always be open. I know you’ll be there for all of us.If true wealth is in your friendships, you were one wealthy man.My sincerest condolences to his immediate family and his lax family. Godspeed.
Admiral
As most have said a sad news for everyone who knew Tom L . If you knew Tom you can understand me when I say a human being who had only good to offer. It’s hard to find someone like Tom in today’s world. A friend who cared geniunely about others well being and would never talk about himself or issues he may have had. Putting others first is what made Tom one of the better friends I have. About five months ago I dealt with a personal issue and needless to say Tom was there for me any time. More than anything he was concerned about his friends well being not neccasarily the problem I was facing. Tom is one that on top of being one of the most knowledgeable lacrosse fanatics in the world a better friend. One who put 100% into his relationships to make others happy. I ask that we rememeber Tom as the lacrosse fan he was but more as the passionate man,,friend, family memeber that everyone should strive to be.
Rest in Peace Tom and I’ll miss you
Brian Dalton
Yorktown Lacrosse Family will always love you Tom, thank you for everything, Rest In Peace.
First Charlie, now Tom. The Yorktown sideline has a big void. RIP Tom L
Tom was a great friend to many many of us here at Yorktown and I know his friendships traveled far and wide in the local and regional lacrosse communities. Tom was a person who was very easy to get to know. He seemed to know everyone, everywhere. People I went to Yorktown with who have kids playing in Connecticut and Long Island all knew Tom as well as we did. Tom, we will all miss you, there will be an emptiness in the top row of our stands at Yorktown from here on in, but you will never be forgotten.
Bob Froats
Tom sitting with you the last week at the Yorktown Ossining Football game, I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to see you and talk about how we could not wait until the Lax season started again! I’m not sure anyone can put into words how much you meant to all of us as a friend, and just how Important you were to Lacrosse in Sec1, The Hudson Valley, Darien, John Jay, And of course your adopted team Yorktown… I will truly miss you my dear friend, you will always be with us at every game…. The Crumm Family
very sad day in the lax world.Tom will be sorely missed. He was an encyclopedia of Hudson valley lacrosse.The Bonitatibus family will dearly miss him. He was a good friend.RIP Tom
How about a Hudson Valley Hall of Fame nomination for him??
Tom L. Class act all the way! RIP we will miss you
TOM L,
The reason that Lacrosse is more unique then any other sport. Because we have people like you with that kind of passion, and spirit of our game. From the Blue Jeep, to the Blue neon, Yorktown bleachers , the annual Wilton Darien Battles , Sound Shore games, Tom L was the constant. Never short on a stat, or comment on who should be All- American. Section 1 , The Lacrosse world will never be the same. Everyone in the Lax world in this area has a Tom L story to share, to make you laugh, or keep you informed. Lets hope wherever you are now with your, stat book, a copy of Inside Lacrosse. There is also ESPNU, and a Satellite dish. R-I-P Big Man YOU cannot be replaced . Joseph and I will miss you at Camp this summer.
I agree, a Fame Nominee , or a game in his honor, lets do the right thing!!!
( As Tom would say)
Coach Luigi!!!
Tom was as passionate a lacrosse person as there was. His presence and contributions will be sorely missed. In fact, things won’t be the same without him. He was his own vintage which cannot be duplicated.
Not only was he a preeminent lacrosse contributor to LaxPower amongst many other places but was a genuinely nice person, too.
I recall a few years ago providing him a central place at the Daniel Hand Jamboree where he could pitch his chair and notebook and accurately record the play by play of four simultaneous scrimmages from one spot. He was most grateful for the reserved spot and would not even accept a complimentary meal from our booster club but insisted on paying for his own lunch and coffee. At the 2009 Hand next March, I will place an empty chair and notebook in the usual spot Tom occupied every year to commemorate the world’s greatest lacrosse fan – the only thing missing will be his after-game reports.
Godspeed, Tom. Your memory will live on with all of us and the Good Lord above will now have a wealth of lacrosse knowledge at his fingertips.
On behalf of everyone at LaxPower and myself, we extend out deepest sympathies to his family on their loss.
George “Baldo” Baldassare – LaxPower.com
“Here is the link”:http://www.lohud.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008811180384 to an article by Jeff Gold on Tom L. that appears today in The Journal News and LoHud.com.
Tom L
I will never forget my ride home from Rochester,you were giving me play by play of The Ossining-Yorktown Football game.But all you wanted know was how well did Nicky-Lax play that day.I will miss you and not seeing you in that top row at Yorktown will be sad.RIP-The Mariano Family
Best wishes to Tom’s family.
I am truly saddened today; though I did not know Tom L as well as most people due to moving from Yorktown after high school, I am very sad to hear of his loss.
To have been mentioned along with Roy Colsey to have made an impact on him at his first lax game I am honored.
Lacrosse lost a great man.
God bless you Tom, I will see you someday I am sure and I look forward to watching some games along side you.
Tom L was a great dude and will be missed in all of section one…He was one of the best guys to have around, never said anything bad about any1, im gunna miss him…Love ya man and god bless
A fitting tribute to our friend is in the works. Reliable sources say that the annual contest between Yorktown and Darien will be dedicated to Tom and named “The Tom Lener Memorial Game.” A fitting tribute to a man who not only loved the game but, touched or lives. He always enjoyed a contest played at the highest levels. There is also a plan to have a trophy that will take the form of Tom’s notebook to be inscribed with the winners name every year. The true winners are all of those fortunate enough to have known Tom and enjoyed his company, intelligence and insight into the game of lacrosse and the boys/young men who grace the fields.
Mitch Lieberman, speaking on behalf of the Lener family, just called me with information regarding a memorial service. He said: “The Lener family expresses their deep appreciation and gratitude for the outpouring of support, however Tom desired his service to be a private, family-only event. The family appreciates everyone respecting Tom’s wishes and their privacy during this difficult time. A community memorial service will be scheduled in the coming weeks.”
Also folks, George Baldassare and our friends at LaxPower.com put together a touching tribute to Tom L. You can read it “here..”:http://www.laxpower.com/laxnews/news.php?story=11848
Tom L,
You have given our family so many “moments”. Your friendship with my son and your ever enduring smile will live in all of our minds eyes until we join you. You are missed and will forever be in our thoughts.
Steve Lovas
To Tom L’s Lacrosse community:
As Tom’s younger brother and on behalf of Tom’s entire family, I’d like to thank all of you for your kind words and thoughts about Tom. Some of the things I’ve been reading here are amazing to me, as Tom didn’t really share the details of this part of his life with us. We definately knew about his love for the sport, but had no idea of what nice friends he’d had for all these years. Tom would be proud to know that all have held him such high esteem, I know how proud he was of all of you, and I’m very glad yhat you gave him so many years of happiness with your game and friendships.
Thank you all so much,
Tim Lener
Tom,
I got to know you alot better this past summer at our camps. We had some good discussions regarding Long Island and Hudson Valley lacrosse teams and players. You were passionate about our game and I am going to miss our conversations. We are all going to miss you… You were a special person.
Rest in Peace, Your Fan-
John Gagliardi
Tom L,
i would look up into the stands in every game i went to or played in hopeing to find him sitting up there. It was only then i knew i was at an important game. he was easily my biggest fan and after the syosset game he was furious and needed 3 college kids to hold him back from the refs. That brightened my day. Sitting with you at rocks graduation party getting to pick your brain aboit anything lacrosse was one of the highlights of my life. ill give you the invite to my grad party… we’ll have a good time.
Tom you were a legend you will be missed
-love michael bonitatibus
A man of great passion for the sport of the lacrosse. I had a chance to catch up with him last spring at a high school game. He always had that one play or big game to remind you about from the thousands that he has seen over the years.
Tom L your loyal and selfless devotion to the game inspires me everyday to never take anything for granted and make sure I am giving back to this game everything that it has given me. You will be greatly missed as a staple in Hudson Valley Lacrosse.
Deepest sympathies to his family and loved ones.
Tom L
Your devotion to the sport of lacrosse is almost unmatched. The passion that you have for the game and its players is something that will truly be missed. But not only your lacrosse knowledge will be missed, TomL the person will be missed more. Can’t thank you enough for the memories.
my condolences to Tom’s family and friends…..RIP TomL
Tom L,
I remember the first time meeting you. It was at Mr.Murphs house after my first varsity season ending picnic..I remember sitting there astonished at the stories and information you shared with all of us around the picnic table that night..From that day on, you were a great friend to me whether you were giving me advice after a Hofstra game up in the tailgate or keeping me updated with scores from Yorktown games…You will be greatly missed by all of us.. Thanks for the memories, stories and passion you displayed with my family, friends and teamates. RIP Tom.
So sad to read of this gentlemen’s passing, he followed New Fairfield, CT lacrosse and seemed to enjoy watching our team play this past season. I always felt good when I saw him sitting in the stands, I felt he brought us good luck. thanks Tom for your support.
Tom L, my friend,
The entire lacrosse community is greater for having known you, and now lesser for having lost you. We will all mourn your loss bravely, speak of you often and we will share our memories of you with all those we encounter.
Godspeed,
PK
Just received word from Mitch Lieberman that arrangements have been finalized for a public memorial service for Tom. It will be held at the Yorktown Community & Cultural Center on Commerce Street at 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 1. (This is the former sixth-grade school.)
Tom L,
A great fan, a better person. That a man could contribute so much to our sport without ever stepping on the field is a testament to his character and devotion. I wish I had known that the last time I would see him would be at lax camp this summer in Chappaqua…I would have thanked him for giving so much and asking for so little in return. I remember saying that we had finally made it beacuse Tom L had come to camp. We enjoyed a great many laughs that week, a ton of stories, and an appreciation for the depth of his knowledge and lacrosse insight. I was even looking for a little advice for the 2009 Darien-Ridgefield Game, but Tom L wouldn’t budge. He loved Town and he loved Darien. An ambassador to our sport, and a great example of the lacrosse family and community that we are all so priveldged to be a part of. You will be sorely missed, and forever remembered. God Bless my friend. Rest in Peace. I hope the view is even better from there…
Roy Colsey
As a non HV’er I had a strange introduction to Tom. I got a call one day asking whether my youngest son was playing for a certain summer club team – he was in 7th grade! After asking who the hell Tom L. was, we bagan a dialogue that lasted. Although I don;t think I ever watched a Manhasset game sitting with him, we always found each other before the game, at half time, and after the game. He became a friend, someone who was helpful during the recruiting process, but more important, someone who was just a great person. The thing I remember most about Tom was that he always found something positive to say about the players. We can all learn from that. I miss him already.
Rob English
The fact that my 11 year old son was so upset at the news speaks volumes. You never knew when Tom was going to be present at a game, but you were never surprised. If you ever had a chance to peak into that notebook he always had under his arm, you’d get just a glimplse of his passion for the game. Thank you Tom, for your friendship. Thank you for your smile. I’m sure you’ll find a lacrosse game to watch in your future jouneys. God bless you…
Doc McGovern
Tom wore many hats, he was a father-figure to youth, hs,and college players. He was a source of information on all levels of lacrosse. He was a friend of all of our families. God Bless to his family. Words cannot describe his postive impact on the lacrosse community. He is a special person who will really be missed. We are blessed and thankful to have Tom L in our lacrosse community.
We are all broken-hearted for the loss of our friend Tom. It was so much fun to watch a game with him. I will never forget the ‘08 Syosset game and his passion!
) He loved our ‘Town boys like no other… Last June he told me he couldn’t wait to see my son and his friends get their turn to play on Charlie Murphy field – I know he will be watching, and he’ll have the best seat in the house…. no freezing cold, no blazing sun!
Rest in peace, Tom, LTL will miss you….
Hi all, thanks for all the positive memoirs of Tom. If anyone has anything of Tom, PIC’s, video’s, lacrosse memorabeila, Awards that he may have been apart of. Please let one of us(myself, Paul Carc, or Mitch L.) know or bring it on Monday evening if its something that others would like to see. Monday will be a great night to celebrate Tom as a great person and lacrosse fan. Anything that can support that we would love to see.
Thanks Brian Dalton
Just make sure if you show- up on Monday you do not dress like it is a wake or a Funeral. Tom would want everyone in comfortable wear. Shorts, sweats, and if you have a shirt ( Like the green one ) with the breast pockets, filled with notes, pens. We should all wear those. SNEAKERS ONLY!!!
Dear Tom, will really miss you. Never met a more passionate man in the game of lacrosse. You are a big part of the LAX family and we all were blessed to have you part of it. Whether it was a summer Soundshore game or FCIAC championship Tom was there and I believe he always will be in spirit. I will always cherish our lax chats these past few years and miss your friendship. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends. The top seat at the lax stadium will always be yours.
God Bless – Your Friend Paulie D
TomL
I know you had a great big smile on tonight,and you would have been real humble.Listing to everyone talk about you.We all will miss you very much.RIP